“Aspirations don’t pay the bills…”
Visconti REVERSED 10 of Cups
Visconti REVERSED 4 of Wands
I have always had aspirations. While I was young and other children were playing, I was reading. I was dreaming of writing my own story – the highest of education, and dreaming of what that future would be like. Those dreams have stayed with me for my entire life: college, teaching, writing, being intelligent, and everything else. They have begun to feel too far to touch.
I graduated high school with good grades, but family and health made me put everything else off. Now, three years later, I’m wondering if they’re still attainable at all. I’ve recently been accepted to a college and even gotten a job offer that sounds perfect, but to pay for it all, I would have to take out a loan. Jobs in writing are rarer than gold, and going back to college will help that.
What if my chance at happiness has gone? I know that in the climate of today’s world, it is all a question of money. Should I take that leap and follow the wind beneath my heart, which is a different direction from my head? Aspirations don’t pay the bills, but happiness doesn’t grow on trees either. I want to be a foundation for my family and future family. I want to be responsible, but at what cost?
Dear Bright Eyes,
Thank you for your question. It sounds like you are making a huge decision about your path in life, which may be a choice between living your personal truth and living up to the expectations of others. One future could seem more illuminated because of the personal development involved and the other is fostering of the love and acceptance in your life, which you see as more advantageous for building a family.
When deciding which future to divine, I got the impression that you might consider this question from the standpoint of mental health, if that is important to you. Stated plainly, could either one of these outcomes cause you to become ‘psycho’? In a worse-case scenario, we might have loneliness and failure on one end and unfulfillment with interpersonal failure on the other.
I set about this happiness trail with the Visconti deck, which led to a:
REVERSED 10 of Cups = (‘educated artist’) and a
REVERSED 4 of Wands = (‘bringing home the bacon’).
We find ourselves within the sector of family and friends in a reversal. It could mean that quality of happiness is prominent in importance and that you might analyze the ‘educated artist’ life from that point of view; while ‘bringing home the bacon’ is sustainable, though slightly insecure; feels tainted and a little bit empty.
In the poem A Dream, Edgar Allan Poe seems to interlace truth with spirituality. What he has written may reflect upon his decision to pursue a career in writing (or some other dream) and the way it has left him alone with his guiding spirit.
In visions of the dark night
I have dreamed of joy departed—
But a waking dream of life and light
Hath left me broken-hearted.
Ah! what is not a dream by day
To him whose eyes are cast
On things around him with a ray
Turned back upon the past?
That holy dream—that holy dream,
While all the world were chiding,
Hath cheered me as a lovely beam
A lonely spirit guiding.
What though that light, thro’ storm and night,
So trembled from afar—
What could there be more purely bright
In Truth’s day-star?
-Edgar Allan Poe
Hoping light and love will guide you to your highest success and happiness,